Suicide in Christianity

Suicide in Christianity
Christian “Rules” That Never Were

Books, chapters, news, conversations, all carrying the tone of suicide.  Why?

I feel fortunate to have never been close to a suicide.  I’ve known people who have lost loved ones to it, and those who have actually witnessed someone taking his/her own life.  While I’ve faced depression in my life and have seen the world through gloom-shaded glasses, I never seriously contemplated suicide as a way out.  For these reasons, I have been a bit perplexed as to why that topic has snuck into my life in a number of ways several times over the last month.  I wondered if God was nudging me to write something about it to share with those in my life – who knows, maybe I know someone who is secretly struggling with the loss of someone or is battling suicide in one way or another.  Maybe these words would help someone, or maybe it’s just a way for me to act on my heart.  I was going to reference a movie starring Robin Williams when, if ever, I would write this.  With the sad loss of him this week and his apparent suicide I feel further compelled, even convicted, to write.

Firstly, let me describe my faith.  I grew up in a Christian home but church was never required, and we never really dove into the teachings of Christ or the stories.  My parents basically just instilled good morals and intent in my brother and me.  Many “facts” about faith and spirituality and even God’s Word have been absorbed through other people (good Christians), society, and churches that I’ve attended.  It was in college that I made my first stance against alleged “good Christians” when someone who was “stronger in faith” than me stated that confession and communion are required to be able to enter Heaven.  As if Jesus says to people “the only way you can get to Heaven is to hear some guy in a particular profession forgive you weekly, and also eat some bread and wine.”  There was no question in my heart that this was wrong and against my beliefs.

Martin Luther was a badass.

It was at this time when I learned about Martin Luther.  Now here was a Christian badass!  The Roman Catholic church was so messed up that people, in those days, would purchase “indulgences” which basically meant they would give the Church money and in exchange they would have immunity from punishment of their sins once they died.  People would buy these for themselves and for recently dead loved ones.  You know what’s great about my God?  He doesn’t keep score.  If He did, we’d all be screwed.  No amount of giving can earn you Heaven, or earn you greater blessings or anything else.  Do you know why we give? Because it’s the right thing to do; you know it in your heart, too.

Martin Luther knew this and even challenged that the pope had the authority to issue such immunity.  He even said “a simple layman armed with the Scriptures” was superior to the pope.  Bam!

What’s more, he nailed what became known as the “ninety-five theses” on the door of the church.  This practice was actually customary in those days, but to challenge the church to such a degree as he was started a movement and, as far as I’m concerned, declared him as Total Christian Badass.  This was, essentially, the start of the protestant movement in Christianity.  (It should be noted that both Catholics and Protestants agree he was a positive influence to Christianity and Catholicism corrected many problems he pointed out.)

For a period, I actually hated the concept of traditional acts such as confession and communion and, to an extent, tried to credit and emulate Martin Luther in that way (hate was a poor and inaccurate choice to mimic the man).  There was something about those traditions that made me feel like everyone was idolizing; like we were buying something that gave us even more than our relationship with God already had.  In fact, I think many people were idolizing.  This angered me and drew me farther and farther away from the church. 

As my heart left the church I feel like it built my relationship with God, however.  My church morphed into Him and me just hanging out, rock climbing and defying death together; ironically with my atheist best friend at the time.  We would ski together and laugh while carving down the mountain amongst His gorgeous creation.  Eventually, He told me that an idol is only an idol if you make it one; tradition and honoring God is inherently good.  So I began taking communion again and it suddenly meant so much more to me when I realized that I didn’t have to take it.  I was free, and I spent that freedom inviting Him into my heart.

God hates sinners.

Over time, other “rules” have popped up and I have decided to squash them because that’s not the God I believe in.  In reading Love Wins by Rob Bell I shared an experience he referenced: “Often times when I meet atheists and we talk about the god they don’t believe in, we quickly discover that I don’t believe in that god either.”

A big rule I squashed in my mind was the one that “god hates sinners.”  What fool thought of this?  That is a god I don’t believe in.  My God has more love for every individual on this planet than we can even comprehend.  My God has mercy and grace.  My God places judgment on people so that I don’t have to.  My God commands that I love others; He commands that I love you.

In that blasphemous phrase you can substitute “sinners” for a number of terms that reflect sexual orientation, race, creed, gender, etc.  All people are sinners, God loves all people, and therefore God loves sinners (feel free to insert whatever term mentioned before into that sentence now – God loves them).

I think it’s important to ask: is your god one of love or hate?

Which brings me to a rule that I always blindly accepted.

Suicides go to Hell.    

Not to make anything light of the sad news we received this week, but how fitting it is that the star of What Dreams May Come has allegedly committed suicide.  It was a brilliantly vivid and beautiful movie with a depiction of Heaven and Hell which were both believable enough to fall in love with the former and be horrified with the latter.  I don’t want to dive into the biblical accuracy of the Heaven and Hell depicted in the movie, people have speculated what Heaven and Hell actually are and look like for thousands of years, I lack the knowledge and the patience to dive into it in a simple article.

While the main character explores Heaven and reconnects with loved ones who were lost years ago he soon learns that his wife, who waits on Earth to finish her life and be reunited with her lost husband in Heaven, has committed suicide due to her anguish.  A memorable scene is seeing Robin Williams’ horror when his heavenly guide (played by Cuba Gooding Jr.) says to him with tears in his eyes “she's a suicide, suicides go somewhere else.”  Suggesting that in spite of any faith the wife may have had, she ruined any chance she had at Heaven and being in the presence of God because she faced the darkest moment in her life without a loved one to carry her through, and took her own life.

Christians like me grew up with the “rule” that this is true: suicides go to Hell.

I’ve never questioned it.  It was never a part of my life so why would I bring it up?  Other sinners and concepts were part of my life so I could easily check the gauge with people to see what the Bible says about this or that and, eventually, challenge the “rules” myself.  But without any exposure to suicide in my life, how could I ever understand it?

There is not one passage in the Bible which states that suicides go to Hell.  Not one.  Some will argue that the Bible states “thou shalt not kill” and killing yourself is killing, nonetheless – therefore you are committing a sin and sinners go to Hell.  To clarify this, generally Christians believe that sinners do, in fact, go to Hell.  We deserve it, or to be more accurate, we don’t deserve Heaven.  Because we have all done bad things and those bad things keep us out of Heaven.

Think of it like this, you cannot go into the operating room in a hospital for a procedure unless your body has been fully sanitized.  You cannot enter Heaven unless your soul has been fully sanitized.  If you’ve ever done anything wrong (we all have) then you cannot bring those germs in that sanitized environment, you must be cleansed.  The spiritual term for this undeserved cleansing is called grace.

The concept of grace comes in where Jesus forgives us for these sins for no reason other than the fact that He loves us dearly and wants us with Him.  Whether you believe that it takes a good heart, or a prayer (the “sinner’s prayer”), or something else, Christians are taught that these acts do not make us immune or incapable of sin.  In fact, it’s much worse when you start recognizing sin in your life you start realizing how futile it is to actually believe you will never sin again. 

Jesus forgives us for all past, present, and future sins.  Confession isn’t for the benefit of God hearing your shame.  It is for the benefit of you recognizing your failures and leaving your shame in His hands so that you can get back into the world and try again – it is not a prerequisite for Heaven, but merely a tool to be used in life to live better.

With that, if your last deed on this earth is murder (of yourself) there is no further impact on your eternal soul. 

Now, let’s think logically about my God; because I think He might be the one you believe in too.  I recently read a book called Appointments with Heaven written by a country doctor who phrased it better than I could:

Despite what some denominations and religious traditions teach, as a doctor, I don’t believe suicide is a sin that separates us from God; it is a cause of death that results from an illness.  Much like heart disease or diabetes can be fatal, so can depression.

Friends and family members shouldn’t fear that they’ll never see their loved one again.  If that person was going to heaven before deciding to commit suicide, that person is in heaven after committing suicide.  God is love, and whom does he love more than the helpless and the hurting? – Reggie Anderson, Appointments with Heaven

I share this so that when loved ones or simply good people take their own lives the pain they’ve left for us still here on Earth can be eased in the hope and knowledge that we will, indeed, see them again someday.

If you are struggling with the loss of a loved one, know that suicide has not condemned them or separated them from the grace of our God.  Don’t blame yourself for what the illness did to him/her.  There was enough pain that they endured and enough pain that this act has caused, don’t let it win, don’t harness more pain.  When you actively love you are strong, you are good, and you will see your loved ones again someday.

If you are personally battling this illness know that you cannot take this on alone.  Share with loved ones, see a doctor, and involve yourself in good.  You will see the good and love in this world.  Know that you were made good, and no matter what you’ve done, God still loves you and that “good” can be achieved.  Just as you don’t hurt people in this life, you don’t want to hurt people out of this life.  The pain and anguish that those who love you (and there are those who love you) will live within them long after you’ve parted. 

Stay with us. 

You are loved.

Need encouragement?  Listen to this song by Andy Grammer: Remind You (video above).

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/magazines-or-novels/id891049725